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Success, for me, is to make a goal, achieve it and then finally build self-esteem. When I was young, I thought that only achievement could define success. If I could not achieve a goal, then I thought I was a total failure. At that time, I did not have much life experience. I could not help but feel like I was failing every time I didn’t achieve my goal. When I got a low score on a test, or if someone who I liked didn’t like me, I felt depressed and useless.

For example, I failed the university entrance examinations so I had to spend one more year studying. It was hard to accept my reality, knowing that all of my friends were going to the university of their choice.  Jealousy and depression drove me crazy. I was alone. I was a social failure. To get accepted into university was my only goal at that time.

Since becoming a university student, I have had more opportunities to think about myself. When I was a freshman I took a writing class where I was asked to reflect on myself. I didn’t know exactly who I was, what I could do, and what I wanted to be. Above all, I couldn’t define what success meant to me, but the professor gave me some advice. If I didn’t know how to find myself, I should read classic writings. This was a good way to relieve my anxiety because the books contained life advice. I also tried to talk to friends. This time to reflect helped me grow.

Now, I realize that success is never far from me. I have come to understand that whenever I’m close to a goal, another goal is waiting for me. Achievement gives me confidence and the self-esteem from them helps me grow gradually. Success to me, is this ability to grow and build self-esteem.

Anxiety: Noun, distress or uneasiness of mind, caused by fear

Reflect: Verb, to fix your thoughts on something or to carefully consider